So, folks, strap yourselves in and prepare yourselves for Super Bowl 42 pt. 2, because that’s what’s in store for you come February 5th, 2012. Everybody loves rivalries in sports. I get that. I really do. But, this Giants Patriots thing doesn’t have the air of rivalry surrounding it that most true rivalries do. Needless to say, this is no Celtics-Lakers caliber championship. I also admit that a long-awaited rematch between two teams whose last battle was a real nail-biter can be exciting. However, the circumstances of the last time these two met was incredibly different and led to a game that meant more; it had the undefeated season hanging in the air for one team, as well as the Cinderella story to counter-balance it for the other. In two weeks, the game that we’re all about to witness is comprised of a MUCH worse patriots team than in 2007 (31st in overall defense?) and a New York Giants team that has lost the Cinderella appeal, while still being just as unexciting of a team to watch. Now that you have all listened to my current gripe of the day, we all have to just accept that we’re getting a less interesting version of a Super Bowl that we have all already seen. But as far as sequels go this game has a LOT more potential than the BCS Championship game of Alabama vs LSU pt. 2…because I think we can all agree that whoever decided that game was a good idea also thought this was a good idea.
As most of you know, the NBA season is currently experiencing a lockout and has been in turmoil for quite some time. However, the player’s union and the owners recently came to a tentative agreement that would have the NBA season begin in late December. Some rejoiced at this news while others, like myself, were completely and utterly indifferent. To me, the NBA season is the most over-rated professional sports season of all time. The officiating is awful, the defense is mediocre, the level of hustle is miniscule, and the discrepancy in talent between many teams makes some games unbearable. I will maybe watch five regular season games all year. The playoffs, on the other hand, are the complete opposite and make for some of the greatest sports moments of all time. This is why I could care less that the NBA season is shortened. All it means to me is that I’ve gotten to enjoy other things in the meantime, as the playoffs get that much closer. Here are some things that I’ve had the pleasure of watching while the NBA season wasn’t happening:
- Tim Tebow and the Broncos defy everything we know about how to consistently win football games
- My fantasy football team’s roller coaster ride of a season. Just a sidenote here: Doesn’t fantasy football make you cheer for the most ridiculously specific events to occur? No regular fan would ever say, “I hope Michael Bush breaks off a 60-yars run, but then gets stopped on the one, so that Janikowski can kick a field goal which would send the game into over-time where Christian Ponder might throw a touchdown pass to Percy Harvin”
- Storage Wars
- The awesome one-two combo of Always Sunny followed by The League
- Any 24/7 special on HBO. I’ve decided that all boxers are clinically insane because of it.
- The “occupy” movement finally losing wind
- COLLEGE basketball. Those kids give it 110% all the time (take notes Lebron)
I know I missed last week’s Trailer Tuesday so this week I’ve chosen to show all of you TWO trailers for movies I’m excited for, TWO that I could care less about, and TWO that I don’t know what to make of. All of these trailers have been released within the last two weeks!
IN THE MONEY: 1.) American Pie: Reunion
Well it’s taken them 5 tries, but I’m finally excited for an American Pie movie again! American Pie was the staple comedy of my childhood and I’d be lying if I said seeing all the original cast wasn’t making me just a bit nostalgic.
2.) Safe House
What can I say? I’m a sucker for Denzel in tough guy roles. Plus, I’m diggin’ the South Africa backdrop.
OUT THE DOOR: 1.) Underworld: Awakening
If a movie franchise is on its fourth installment and doesn’t begin with “Harry Potter,” odds are I’m not going to want to see it. Not to say that the Underworld series is particularly terrible, but it’s getting a little repetitive by now. Throw in the abundance of lame one-liners in the trailer and I’m saying send this one out the door.
2.) About Fifty
I’M NOT SO SURE: 1.) Project X
Lots of conflicting things flying at me in this trailer. I’m seeing scary Blair Witch-style narrating at the beginning. Then, I’m seeing it’s made by Todd Phillips (Old School, The Hangover etc.) but not seeing much comedy. Then, I’m seeing a whole lot of scandalous teenage sexuality. Lastly, I’m left with some sort of police-induced suspense factor. What is going on here?
The classic indie curve-ball trailer. The trailer starts out with happy music and a happy family, and things suddenly switch and become progressively creepier and less happy.
Two of the most successful video game franchises of all time have recently released trailers for their upcoming games. Personally, the Halo franchise and Grand Theft Auto franchise are my absolute favorites so naturally I’m pretty excited about both of these. Which are you more excited about?
Well folks, you have all been patiently waiting. So here it is, the top 4 greatest characters currently on television:
4. Don Draper, Mad Men
Don Draper is the classic “every guy
wants to be him and every girl wants to be with him.” He oozes cool and is by far the suavest character to ever grace a television screen. Sure, he may be a little sexist, but compared to the male characters around him he doesn’t even seem too bad. He also has one of the coolest jobs ever, getting to work as a creative executive for a huge ad agency in Manhattan. If I had to guess, I’d say he is single-highhandedly responsible for a recent upswing in scotch and cigarette sales.
3. Stewie Griffin, Family Guy
Stewie, the football-headed British-accented baby, provides non-stop laughs on a show known for its humor. His transformation throughout the seasons from matricidal genius bent on world-domination, to questionably gay best friends with Brian has kept him interesting and still watchable. The way he interacts with the world around him is incredibly funny. Sometimes he seems to be the smartest person in the room, while at others times his infantile tendencies show. Why Brian is the only other character who seems to truly hear him remains a mystery, but adds on to the complex (and hilarious) character that is Stewie Griffin.
2. Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation
Ron Swanson, by far the manliest character on television, and number two on my list. His love of meat, hunting, fishing, and carpentry embody all that is man. At this point Ron and his glorious mustache have almost taken on a Chuck Norris-esque mythology. There’s more to Ron, though, then simply being a man’s man as he also cares deeply for Leslie and the rest of the Parks department. This is part of what makes Ron so great, beneath the rough exterior lies a loving teddy bear. But don’t let him hear me say that.
1. Eric Cartman, South Park
In my television-saturated brain, I can think of no greater character than Eric Cartman. He’s manipulative, he’s rude, he’s insensitive, he’s evil, he’s hilarious. Every episode of South Park, one can count on Cartman doing or saying something that previously was unfathomable. The fact that he’s a nine year old child makes this all-the-better. He has absolutely no limits to what he’ll do to get what he wants, and usually what he wants is to bring some sort of emotional pain to somebody else. At times he’s an evil genius, and at others he is overtly misinformed but regardless he will never admit to being wrong. One moment he’s planning on exterminating a race, and the other he’s crying to his mother. Nobody beats Cartman when it comes to watch-ability and entertainment, and that’s why he sits atop the list of TV’s top characters.
Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Walter White, Breaking Bad
Roger, American Dad
Trailer Tuesday is back. One for a movie that looks good, one that doesn’t and one that looks strange.
GO SEE IT: Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game of Shadows
Here’s the newest Sherlock Holmes 2 trailer. I’ve always loved Guy Ritchie’s work. I’ve always loved Robert Downey Jr’s work. I enjoyed the first one…this movie shouldn’t disappoint.
DON’T SEE IT: 3
I’ve never really been a fan of love triangle movies.
WHAT IS IT? Chronicle
Doesn’t look terrible, but I’m not sure what to make of this.
As some of you may have gathered by now, I watch a lot of television. Using my excessive television knowledge I have compiled what I believe to be the top eight characters currently on television. I’m basing this on their complexity and entertainment value. This is, of course, my personal opinion.
8. Bender, Futurama
Who wouldn’t want to befriend a drinking, smoking, morally corrupt robot from the year 3000? Bender constantly tip toes the line of cheeky miscreant to just plain evil, and that’s why he’s so fun to watch. Also, you see him use an arsenal of nifty robot gadgets, everything from a thumb that doubles as a lighter to his body being used as a convention oven.
7. Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones
Tyrion is a dwarf played by Peter Dinklage in HBO’s newest hit, Game of Thrones. Tyrion is a great character because not only does he provide a certain level of comic relief with his boozing, whoring, and quick-wit but due to his size in a land of warriors he has to rely on his cleverness as opposed to strength.
6. Dexter Morgan, Dexter
Dexter nabs the number 6 spot for his captivating monotone narrating and incredibly dry sense of humor. Oh, and the fact that he’s a policeman/serial killer/father. Easily one of the most complex characters on television, Dexter’s constant inner conflict and living in the gray area between good and bad make him a joy to watch.
5. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
There’s no way I could leave America’s most lovable (and oblivious) family man off the list. Not only is he constantly making the wrong decisions, he makes them in a grandiose fashion. His utter neglect, reciprocated by utter love for his family makes him the most watchable father figure in television.
That’s the first half of the list. Be sure to check back for number 4-1!
Another solid lineup for this week’s newest trailers. Watch one for a movie that I think you should all watch, one that I think you shouldn’t, and one that you’re not going to be sure what you’re watching.
MUST SEE: The Muppets
The newest trailer for the upcoming Muppets trailer was just released and I couldn’t be more excited. The muppets have been a staple of my childhood and I welcome the opportunity to escape back to that time. The real beauty of the muppets is, despite it appearing to be a kids movie, it’s riddled with adult humor.
DON’T SEE: Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip Wrecked
Here’s the newest trailer for the newest Alvin and the Chipmunks movie…it’ about time that this franchise gets chip wrecked.
WHAT AM I LOOKING AT? The Devil Inside
This horror movie is following along in the footsteps of movies like The Fourth Kind, and The Excorcism of Emily Rose, in that it has “real” footage of supernatural events. Looks creepy, looks weird, looks…real?
I just now had a bit of an epiphany that is worthy of a blog post. My generation’s general perspective on Michael Jordan has forever been skewed by the movie Space Jam. My first real memories of Michael Jordan aren’t with Scottie Pippen, but, rather, Bugs Bunny. Every time I try to picture Jordan as a person, I immediately think of his big screen alter-ego where he’s a not only a loving family man, but just and all-around good guy. As I grew older and more sports-savvy, Jordan evolved more into a statistic than a person. 6 championships, 5 MVPs, 14 time All-Star, rookie of the year, etc etc. After convincing myself that Jordan isn’t only a guy I’d like to have on my Toon Squad, but also (arguably) the greatest NBA player of all time, I was about ready to call the man my hero. But, as they say, ignorance is bliss. Now at the ripe age of 21 I’ve learned much more about sports figures than I had ever thought possible just 10 years ago. It turns out that Michael Jordan, the person, is widely-known as being overly competitive, egotistical, and somewhat of a jerk. How can this be?! Are you saying the nice man who helped Bugs and company defeat the evil Monstars isn’t so nice after all? Sorry to break it to you Generation Y, but Space Jam paints Number 23 in a much brighter light than he deserves. Despite all that, chances are, when somebody mentions Jordan I’m more likely to think of this, than this because, between me and you, I wasn’t even alive in ‘89.
This is still being posted on Tuesday for Hawaii so deal with it. To reward your patience I bring with me one trailer for a movie that don’t look to shabby, one for a movie that should never have been made at all, and one for a movie that doesn’t exactly look normal.
YES: The Avengers.
After much internal debate, I’ve decided that The Avengers actually looks pretty good. When I first heard about this movie being made I was a HUGE skeptic. I was not a huge fan of Thor, Captain America, or Iron Man 2. However, I’m an enormous fan of Robert Downey Jr. and this trailer gives me just the right amount of him to get me excited. Also, the concept of all these already blockbuster-worthy characters teaming up is actually pretty cool.
NO: Tower Heist
This is the newest trailer for the comedy, Tower Heist. The first trailers left me underwhelmed, and while this trailer actually showed glimpses of potential, you still won’t catch me watching it anytime soon. Oh and by the way, how far has Eddie Murphy fallen??
NOT SHO: I Melt With You
Great cast, but confusing plot. Starts out like some buddy-buddy movie and goes in a weird direction fast. This doesn’t look bad but I’m just not sure about it…
Raider’s fans: don’t take the title of this post as a personal attack, it represents a larger idea. With the recent passing of Al Davis, the world of sports has seen another sports owner icon leave us. Al Davis is one of the last of a dying breed of owners who promote themselves along with their teams. Owners who are constantly in the limelight, making personnel decisions, and public remarks on how they think their team should be playing the game. George Steinbrenner was another who fell into this category, and is now gone. There was a time when the owner was just as much a part of the team as any coach or player, and in some cases more so. People cared about the owners because the owners cared about their fans and their players. I understand that Al Davis has come under LOTS of scrutiny throughout his days as owner of the Raiders, particularly in his later years, but people still knew who he was because he was calling shots that had organization-altering consequences. Arguably, Jerry Jones and Mark Cuban are the only real owner figure-head left. It’s widely known that they still makes decisions on behalf of the team and thus the media still follows them. The days of owners like Connie Mack, Bud Selig, George Halas, George Steinbrenner, and Al Davis are coming to an end. One would be hard-pressed to find any casual sports fan who could name at least three owners, and even harder-pressed to find somebody who could recognize any. Will this transformation come to fruition, or will a new wave of hands-on owners step up. Then again, aren’t owners just greedy fat-cats anyway?